If you didn’t know better, you’d think that Charlie Sheen spent all this time sabotaging the highest-paying gig in TV just so he’d wind up the guest of dishonor at his own roast, specifically, the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen, airing Sept. 19.



Two nights ago, Jeff Ross (primarily of Comedy Central Roast fame) came onto the stage during Charlie Sheen’s latest tour stop and roasted him for nine straight minutes.

Ross pulls no punches, attacking everything from his goddesses ” “I saw Bree’s last movie; the last time I saw that many guys in the same hole I was watching the rescue of the Chilean minors” ” to affinity for cocaine: “Let’s tell the truth, Charlie’s nostrils are so snotty a